Here Is A List Of Real Country Music Song Titles:All I Want From You (Is Away)All My Exes Live In Texas All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus?Are You on the Top 40 of the Lord? At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears Bubba Shot The JukeboxBubba's Inconvenience StoreCan't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)Cow Cow Strut Did I Shave my Legs for This? Do You Love As Good As You Look? Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight? Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You.Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load!Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Yo-mind Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling Don't Squeeze My Sharmon. Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.Git Up Off'n the Floor Hannah (a Bitter New Year's Eve)Going to Hell in Your Heavenly ArmsGuess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart.Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine Heaven's Just A Sin Away. Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind. Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me Her Only Bad Habit Is MeHer Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) High Cost of Low LivingHold On To Your Men..???Cause She's Single Again How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me? How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral.I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes 'Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus Sittin' on the Dashboard of my CarI Don't Do FloorsI Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All Over You) I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It. I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for MeI Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2.I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You.I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I'm Waitin In Your Welfare Line I Got Through Everything But The Door I Guess I Had Your Leavin' ComingI Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine. I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You.I Like Bananas Because They Have No BonesI Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well. I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up I Meant Every Word That He Said. I Only Miss You On The Days That End In " Y " I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning) I Sent Her Artifical Flowers For Her Artificial Love I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better. I Wanna Whip Your Cow.I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at MeI Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of MeI Wish I Were A ***I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me) I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! I Would Kiss You Through the Screendoor but It'd Strain Our Love I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win.I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy.I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will. If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You.If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It.If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo! If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over YouIf I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a DelicatessenIf I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now. If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me? If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To, I'd be Out of Jail By Now If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight? If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low.If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It Al On You If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen the Train If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love. If the Devil Danced in Empty Pockets, He'd Have a Ball in Mine If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long. If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back In If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure.If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With MeIf You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl.If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There). If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will If You Ever Get the Feelin' I Don't Love You, Feel Again. If You Got the Money, Honey, I Got the Time If You Leave Me I'm GoneIf You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart If You Want Your Freedom PDQ, Divorce Me COD If You???re Gonna Do Him Wrong Again, You Might As Well Do Him Wrong Again With Me! If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight. I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams I'm Drinkin Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year) I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue. I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home. I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of my Car and Drive Myself to Drink I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon. I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of JailI'm In Love With A Capital U I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life.I'm Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But I'm Gonna be a Diamond Someday)I'm Not Married But The Wife Is. I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised.I'm Under The Table Over You Is It Cold in Here, or Is it Just You?It Ain't Easy Being Easy It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad. It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me. It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long. It Took a Helluva Man to Take my Anne, but it Sure Didn't Take Him LongIt's Not the High Cost of Living, It's the Cost of Living HighI've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart.I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night I've Got a Cowboy In The Saddle, and Another One's Holding My Horse I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat! I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time. I've Got Tears In My Eyes From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You.I've Got the Cob, If You've Got the Corn I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line I've Heard that Tear Stained Monologue You Do There by the Door Before You GoJeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green and Purple PillsJesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You Jim, I Wore A Tie Today Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl,Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You Last Night I Went to Bed with a "10" and Woke this Morning with a "2"Lay Something On My Bed Besides A BlanketLearning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me. Legendary Chicken FairyLiked You Better Before I Knew You So Well Make Me Late For Work Today.Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.Meet Me In the Gravel Pit, Honey, Cuz I'm a Little Boulder There Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy? My Every Day Silver Is Plastic.My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus.My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart My Lips Want to Stay (But My Heart Wants to Go)My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, so I Guess it Wasn't You My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.Nashville RashNed Nostril (and his South Seas Paradise, Put Your Blues on Ice, Cheap at Twice the Price Band, Icky Icky Ucky Ucky)No Way, Conway (I Ain't Gonna Twitty Tonight) Occasional WifeOh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way. Our Love is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't the Same Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed. Overlonely and Underkissed Pardon Me, I've Been PardonedPardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill.Phantom Of The OpryPick Me Up On Your Way DownPick Me Up Or Let Me DownPlease Bypass This Heart. Poultry PromenadeQueen Of My Double-Wide TrailerRed Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon BeerRedneck Martians Stole My BabyRefried DreamsRun for the Roundhouse Nellie (He Can't Corner You There)Saddle Up the Stove Ma, I'm Riding the Range TonightShe Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed AnytimeShe Feels Like A New Man Tonight. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft.She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and OfferShe Thinks My Tractor's SexyShe Walked Across My Heart Like It Was TexasShe's Actin' Single..... I'm Drinkin' DoublesShe's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty.She's Got the Rhythm (And I Got the Blues) She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without. Slap 'Er Down Again PawStill Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love.Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You.Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone.Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With YouThe Alcohall of FameThe Bridge Washed Out and I Can't Swim and My Baby's On the Other Side The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me".The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me) The Old Home Fill 'er Up and Keep On Truckin' Cafe" The Pint Of No Return. There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All My Lovin' For You There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal. There's A Tear In My BeerThey May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out. This Good Girl's Gonna Go BadThis White Circle on My Finger Means We're Through Tight Fittin' JeansTimber... I'm Fallin In Love Touch Me With More Than Your Hands.Trainwreck Of EmotionUp Against the Wall, Redneck MotherVelcro Arms, Teflon Heart.Waitin' In Your Welfare LineWalk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking InWarm Beer and Cold KissesWarm Beer Cold WomenWe Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me).When the Lightning Struck the Coon Creek Party LineWhen We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town).When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes? Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone? Who's Makin' Time with the Time Keeper's Daughter, when the Time Keeper's Keepin' Time? Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw Why Have You Left the One You Left Me For? Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win Yard Sale You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog ('s Leavins') You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My ManYou Can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can't Keep My Face from Breaking OutYou Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play. You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd.You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to BlueYou Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat You Goodbye You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life You'd think my Bed was a Bus Stop, the Way You Come and Go Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns Your Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life.You're A Cross I Can't Bear.
...and the Grammy goes to ....Willie C. Wuddle.
(clap, clap, clap)