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If I were President...here's what I'd Do!!!

Punk wrote on 6/27/2006 9:49:39 AM :

If I were President, first, I'd make everyone dress up like pirates (because pirates rule so much), and I'd have robots do everything (except for the work my slaves do; they'll be doing something pointless like trying to save the whales or something to that effect to keep them busy). Then I'd put all nuclear waste in ALABAMA (since the water there is already contaminated; how else can you explain all the birth defects? Inbreeding? Oh wait.. nevermind).

Then I'd pass a law that made it mandatory for everyone to vote for me in every election (so I'd always win, bwahaha). They could, however, vote for someone else, as long as I knew who it was so I could bribe them ahead of time. Every once in a while I might fix the votes so it looked like it was a close election, but then I'd always win (because I'd pass a law saying so) to give people false hopes.

Next, I'd take all the toys and candy in the world and put it in my pure ivory palace (I don't know what it is about endangered species that makes such great furniture), and I'd play with them all by myself, until I got bored five minutes later. I'd also take down all the TV and Radio stations and put up just one instead. I'd call it the "Submit to me or I will burn your house down and destroy your family" channel, or IMTHEMOTHERFUCKINGRULERNOWWHAT for short. It would play my brainwashing tapes for at least 25 hours a day (directed by environmentalists, since they're so good at brainwashing), and shameless propaganda for the other two. Oh yeah, days now have 27 hours because I said so.

I'd do irrational things like make it illegal to go swimming on certain days, and censor all forms of self expression by making freedom of speech , art, and (especially pornography) illegal, so conservative parents can go to video stores without being burdened by supervising their children. I'd make a holiday to exploit love, and make people buy silly little cards and boxes of candy to express their feelings for loved ones, except Valentine's day is already taken. I'd make my birthday a universal holiday and make everyone pay me a "privilege to be ruled" tax. With the money, I'd do something really pointless like found an organization that helped people who didn't need help, just to play with the minds of the low in spirit and poor.

I'd open a call center agency, (as big as all the WalMart stores combined) and employ skilled workers and Harvard graduates for peanuts and let a few incompetent high school drop outs run the company, and I'd instruct them to give everyone that knows what they're doing a hard time. I'd cut corners every chance I get and expect miracles to be performed with mere office supplies. d'I ekam enoyreve daer dna etirw sdrawkcab. I'd chanj the way werds were spelld. Then I'd change them back. I'd set France on fire (with the mimes still in it), and then I'd laugh. I'd laugh and laugh, like it was funny, much unlike Bob Faget's monologue. I'd have so much fun as President, I might get carried away and have sex with a 21 year old intern. But that would be irresponsible for a leader to do, wouldn't it?

willie c wuddle wrote on 6/27/2006 10:07:09 AM :

Like the Biff Naked Ladies might sing: (We squished the 2 bands together)
If I had half a million dollars,
I'd buy you a big tour bus,
And ship you off to Washington,
Without creating much of a fuss.

Bulert wrote on 6/27/2006 11:54:18 AM :

bahaha i laughed threw the whole thing. ha that was really good punk. If i was president..i owuls everyone wear kitten ears

Faulty wrote on 6/27/2006 12:30:14 PM :

how do you possibly leave out so many words in your posts?

Punk wrote on 6/27/2006 12:42:36 PM :

Who are you talking to? It better not be Bulert or me for that matter...just kidding.

...tahw sdrow era uoy gniklat tuoba??? what mispelled words?

F uck it, you're hired.

Faulty wrote on 6/27/2006 1:01:32 PM :

was talking to bulert..... and yeah it's pretty easy to read backwards

Starry wrote on 6/27/2006 1:14:50 PM :

Punk...can I be your official "Spokesperson"? I think I qualify for the postion because you know I always always ALWAYS stick up for ya...even when you don't deserve it....Please Please Please!

Punk wrote on 6/27/2006 1:18:10 PM :

Bug Bulert. She's so bUgGaBlE. You can talk to me anytime cause, I'll respond. I like a great debate. I like putting a spin on things. I think you and I are are the smartest ones on here....aside from: oao, wcw, sm, miss "B" (she knows who she is), md, celeste who I hate, um, lets see...s (the dog), sb (easy to spot: always in blue; pssst... very opinionated) WWJD (crazy as hell, but is truly a great writer)...and who gives a flying fig about the rest a yahs!

Edit: I forgot Starry, notmoi or notme, forgetme, something like that...actually eveyone here is crazy, except for me.

I'll update this list later!

Update: vd ( kool head, can debate, but we haven't gone Mohawk to head yet or as they say head to head)

Starry wrote on 6/27/2006 1:22:49 PM :

Thats my boy....gotta love him!!!!

willie c wuddle wrote on 6/27/2006 1:24:12 PM :

Fork it, Forget the president. After a speech like that let's make the Punkman the Prime Minister

Faulty wrote on 6/27/2006 1:28:35 PM :

Punk wrote:

I think you and I are are the smartest ones on here....aside

Bulert or I? haha, I love the long list of exclusions.

Punk wrote on 6/27/2006 1:34:56 PM :

...You and I of course. They get riled up so easy here, I love doing it to them. I think the only one I can't fuckup is Willie. I think it's because he just drinks way too much beer.

willie c wuddle wrote on 6/27/2006 1:37:42 PM :

Better not get on my bad side. I'm your campane manager.

Punk wrote on 6/27/2006 1:40:26 PM :

Hey, what's with the colors, I like PINK and PURPLES god damit!

willie c wuddle wrote on 6/27/2006 1:52:48 PM :

Try this out for size.....

SweetMelody wrote on 6/27/2006 5:44:46 PM :

This is the funniest thread of the Forum!

Faulty wrote on 6/27/2006 5:47:52 PM :

Change "Don't be a dink, think pink" To, "Think dink in the pink!" (subtle yet effective!)

Bulert wrote on 6/27/2006 8:23:16 PM :

Sorry about my typing errors, I was in a hurry. Like you don't make mistakes. I'm not that easy to bug! Punk, are you saying you don't like me? even though you pulled me to the darkside? hmmm Big Smile [:D]

So faulty, do you approve of my post? Or do you feel the need to correct me?

WWJD wrote on 6/27/2006 8:25:32 PM :

Bulert wrote:
Sorry about my typing errors, I was in a hurry. Like you don't make mistakes. I'm not that easy to bug! Punk, are you saying you don't like me? even though you pulled me to the darkside? hmmm

So faulty, do you approve of my post? Or do you feel the need to correct me?

Don;t worry about it, Bulert!

Some make mistakes on typing while others make mistakes on morality (example being that gay marriage is ok)

So...you're better off than they ;)

Bulert wrote on 6/27/2006 8:34:20 PM :

Thank you for the reassurance. Now I am right paranioid about my typing. Stick out tongue [:P]

willie c wuddle wrote on 6/28/2006 5:23:27 AM :

Welcome back Melody.

Think pink.

WWJD wrote on 6/27/2006 8:24:25 PM :

Faulty wrote:
how do you possibly leave out so many words in your posts?

It's your fault, Faulty