Listen, just when I thought "Reality" TV was finally fading away - it seems to be coming back even stronger, and even worse than ever....
I want to see if anyone is on the same page as me when I say that 99.9% of all shows that claim to be "real" or that want to have the "reality" aspect to them will have most, if not all of the following, fake, qualities: Black and white scenes, Subtitles for harder to hear moments (as if we are all deaf), Off center subjects, Shaky camera shots, terribly fake, CGI "now recording" video camera frame with blinking red light, Some person with a thick accent. Night vision (very popular on Survivor), some derivative of the following buzz words: "raw, uncut, uncensored, naked, un-edited, real, shocking, uncovered, exposed, extreme, untamed, intense.....etc...Audio recordings with a lot of interference, Video recordings with a lot of interference (web cams as well), "Hidden" cameras, Confessional clips...just go to Church and confess.
Has anyone noticed this? I can think of several shows I have seen lately that literally had all, yes all, of the above traits....
Please gimmie a break!. Well, I suppose if people know that it's not real, and still enjoy it, then that's perfectly OK with me. It's when people live, die, and cry by the belief that these show are real that really bothers me...
So, next time you watch any show look for the above traits...even in commercials...
Ok, it really doesn't bother me that much -I just think it's interesting how far people will fall prey to this kind of marketing...
C'yah
Much to the dismay of everyone close to me, I've long been an adversary of reality television. I can fake a certain amount of interest if I think it might get me into a girl's pants, but that's about it. And if you want to get technical, that interest-faking is usually just an extension of doing the same during various conversations throughout the evening. But I digress.
I appreciate great writing and comedy, so the fact that every channel has been flooded by allegedly "unscripted" shows the past couple years has been absolutely killing me. It's gotten to the point where networks don't give a shit about their sitcoms anymore. But assuming you managed to sit/yawn through the craptastically dramatic final three seasons of that once-funny show called Friends, you already knew that.
Anyway, now that Doug Christie and his wife Jackie have agreed to participate in their own reality show, I'm 153% sure I'm months away from getting nailed right in the face by the Reality TV hammer. At which point, my friends might stop hating me, because I'll no longer be able to make fun of them for being obsessed with this trash. Seriously, who cares if some idiot named Landon is carrying a knife? Unless he uses it to create himself a vagina, he's still gay. Yet my friends eat this stuff up. It's like when you're driving and you have some Jolly Ranchers in your pocket, and you can't wait to take your hands off the wheel and unwrap them, so you just put them in your mouth and chew through the wrapper. They eat it up like that. (For lack of a better, less-retarded analogy, of course.)
If you're not familiar with the Christies, I'll tell you right now that if this show hits the air, you will be fascinated by them after one episode. Doug plays for the Sacramento Kings, and is notorious in sports circles for being open to the fact that he's completely submissive to his wife. I think it was pre-cartoon Bill Simmons who came up with the idea of sending a Doug Christie jersey to a buddy to let him know he's officially whipped. I honestly believe this show will give Jackie an opportunity to completely obliterate Anna Benson as the most popular wife in sports. ("Popular" meaning well-known... not necessarily well-liked.)
The stories are almost too painful to believe: From the 50-60 hand-signals Doug sends Jackie during the course of a game (while playing), to their agreement that he will not be interviewed by female reporters, to the story that while playing for the Raptors he changed in a closet after games because the team allowed lady journalists in the locker room, to the couple's yearly ritual of getting married all over again (not renewing vows... actually getting married with guests and rings and crap), to stories of Jackie trailing the team bus from the airport to the hotel in her car (talking to Doug via cell phone the entire trip), to Jackie allegedly smacking a female fan who touched Doug while seeking an autograph, to Jackie trying to intervene during the infamous Christie-Fox preseason fight a few years back... well, let's just say it's going to be an entertaining show. Just as long as the ladies out there don't get any ideas about "the way relationships are supposed to be."
(Thanks in advance, Doug. You ***ing asshole.)
My galpal loves those types of shows where a person goes out for a few hours and their neighbours redecorate their houses. They are always so suprised and overjoyed when they see the results. If somebody ever remodelled my "Classic Sanford And Son" decor and biffed everything out I would be hiring a lawyer or a hitman very fast. I hope the people on the shows get paid well or get acting carreers as a result of those shows because that kind of stuff must require a lot of acting talent. "Oh Bob, I just love that pink lamp in the corner where my old high school football trophy used to be. I never did like that trophy any way. It made the curtains look so tacky". Shows like this make me pray for more and longer lasting commercials.