Moncton Forum

This is a reply to your recent post about the sixteen year old!

 

 

First of all, I am sorry that he is causing such a problem for you and your current boyfriend. I agree that he may be on drugs, and that you may need to intervein, but another issue could be that he is seeking attention by associating bad behavior and attention. Some kids are just natural attention seekers, and believe that by making others angry, they are being noticed. If he cannot abide by the rules in your house, put him out. He lives under your roof and you call the shots, not the other way around. Your boyfriend needs to put his foot down IMMEDIATELY! He is a child, at sixteen you can still handle him. I am fifteen years old, and I am fully aware that trouble makes you popular. Keep all of your money in an account, take away everything that is of value out of his room, livingroom, kitchen, or anywhere else he has access. Store it in your room and lock it up in a cabinet and lock your door. I mean it, leave him with no options. Then when he calms down after he freaks out (  which he will) tell him that you know something is wrong and until he faces it, you won’t let up. Get him drug information, and ask the teachers at school to watch him. Most kids start on drugs from grade ten on.

 

When he starts his foolishness, the police should be called and he should be REMOVED. Mention to the police you think drugs may be the issue, they have the right to search his things, and test him for drug use. If it is found he is on drugs, the hospital can help you. I have a lot of friends who are on drugs, and at fifteen are already burn outs. They have nothing and I am sure that’s not what you want for him. That is pretty much all the advice I can offer you.

 

I will let you in on a secret all teens have. We know our rights, and kids have little to no fear of authority. I am not scared of my teachers because there is nothing they can do to me. You need to let him know his rights, and where they end and your start. You can discipline him, and he needs his asss tanned good. Man, if I did that…lets just say I never would..my mom wouldn’t even stand for me stealing a few bucks. Hope things get better..

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~~Cuz' Love is what matters;after all~~

I agree with all your saying but we can "put him out" without my b/f being charged (went through that already) untill he's 18. He hardley ever goes to school and in order to ensure he does go one of us would have to quit our job. We can't beat his ass as he is bigger (not that that really matters) but then he goes for the either hammer, bats, or anything else that is around that he can use to hit. We have been locking our stuff in our room (with a door knob that needs a key to get in) but he breaks in anyways. We have lots of stuff that is worth alot but cannot be locked in the room (even if it could he breaks in anyways so what's the use). I feel like just locking him in a windowless room with handcuffs just so he can't get out but you know that's not possible for one to do. My son knows that if he does something wrong I wuold beat his ass., but this kid it's different as he never had that kind of punishment or anything remotly close to rough punishment. We talked about it last night and his dad will try to get the court to give him a harsher punishment. Hopefully that will work but he has been in youth jail in texas (which is rough) and it didn't bother him what so ever. Thanks for your advise I think it would work for other kids but he has been in alot of trouble before so kinda saw first hand what they do. The cops here in moncton told his dad infront of him that basicly he can do what ever he wants and that the cops can't really do much more than what they have done to him already. Hoping is the last resort. WWJD will love to read this but I am praying to God that he will change as the world will not like him once he's a adult.

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Be careful what you write cause you can say boo and they will jump down your throat.

Some advice from a real old kid............................Might be time to send him packing.

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Remember yesterday, respect tomorrow, live for today.
Three out of five cats love Mousehead Beer.

Did that last year and his mom doesn't give him any love or attention. We didn't think it was right for any kid bad or good to have his mom ignore him all the time. But yeah I know the packing sh*t seems liek a good idea. Just scared that it doesn't resolve anything. But only 2 more years and he'll be old enough to take care of himself. (he might realize then how bad he f*cked up when he gets no help)

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Be careful what you write cause you can say boo and they will jump down your throat.

Cautiouslizard wrote:

I agree with all your saying but we can "put him out" without my b/f being charged (went through that already) untill he's 18. He hardley ever goes to school and in order to ensure he does go one of us would have to quit our job. We can't beat his ass as he is bigger (not that that really matters) but then he goes for the either hammer, bats, or anything else that is around that he can use to hit. We have been locking our stuff in our room (with a door knob that needs a key to get in) but he breaks in anyways. We have lots of stuff that is worth alot but cannot be locked in the room (even if it could he breaks in anyways so what's the use). I feel like just locking him in a windowless room with handcuffs just so he can't get out but you know that's not possible for one to do. My son knows that if he does something wrong I wuold beat his ass., but this kid it's different as he never had that kind of punishment or anything remotly close to rough punishment. We talked about it last night and his dad will try to get the court to give him a harsher punishment. Hopefully that will work but he has been in youth jail in texas (which is rough) and it didn't bother him what so ever. Thanks for your advise I think it would work for other kids but he has been in alot of trouble before so kinda saw first hand what they do. The cops here in moncton told his dad infront of him that basicly he can do what ever he wants and that the cops can't really do much more than what they have done to him already. Hoping is the last resort. WWJD will love to read this but I am praying to God that he will change as the world will not like him once he's a adult.

Honestly if he is as bad as you are stating..contact Paladin.He gave you his number

Anybody old enough to steal and go to jail is old enough to know the "My way or the highway" philosophy. You pay the rent (if nobody steals your money) so you get to make the rules. Pack his suit case and set it by the door. If he lays a guilt trip on you tell him you still love him and will visit him all the time when he ends up in jail.

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Remember yesterday, respect tomorrow, live for today.
Three out of five cats love Mousehead Beer.

c/l sent you a pm

Thanks you guys. You all ROCK. I just read the IMs. I will defenatly give P a call if he ends up coming home after his court on monday. As I stated earlier, we cannot put him out. If we do my b/f will get charged as he has already been told by SS. There is not much a parent can do now a days unless the police wants to get involved and try to help. Yeah we make teh rules but he is 16 after all and if he chooses to leave for days after getting into a fight with us is no better then he's just running the streets. I know when I was growing up, if I would have done that my parents would have beat me then put me out but the laws are not on our side anymore. I would never beat my son but I can sure as hell make him think I would lol and I think that's where the problem started with my b/f's son as he knew he could get away with everything while he was living with his mom (that's why he's living with us but it's kinda too late) She wouldn't even try to contact him when he would be gone for days at the age of 13. she never showed she cared if he was still alive and kicking. He is a angry kid and needs to be able to deal with it but he doesn't want to do anything to help himself. We've tried to get help but as they said to us "if he is not willing, we won't be able to penetrate hs mind to find out where the problem is. They put him on medication before (that just got him angrier) when he was a child as they claimed he had mental problems. That got him angrier. His mom would walk right by him day after day and not even say hello to him. I understand why he's so angry and why he acts up, just don't know what to do to help the poor kid.

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Be careful what you write cause you can say boo and they will jump down your throat.

your b/f can not be charged by ss if you are the one who evicts your son.is there any chance your son may be rebelling against you b/f because he just don't want your b/f living with you.

I wouldn't think so. He doesn't show the signs that he doesn't want us to live together. HE sees his dad is happy with me and he gets treated well by both of us. Yes SS can charge his and told him they would if they find out that he has kicked his son out before the age of 18. He has been tod that he is the gardian of his child and it would be child abuse to kick him out before that age. Basicly they told him that he has to live with it. It sucks as I know that's what most would do. But it still wouldn't help kicking him out it would just make him turn to the badder things in the city. He only smokes pot, if we kick him out he will go to his friend's houses and will prob end up doing harder drugs as he would feel that no one wants him around. I've seen those effects with some of my frineds when I was his age and it really didn't help. He would have a roof over his head no matter what. I don't want him to go into the wrong path in his life as it will only get harder and harder. We want to help not get him worse. Don't want him to think he is not wanted either and with his past with his mom, that's how he would take it if we kicked him out. It doesn't fix the problem just makes it worse.

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Be careful what you write cause you can say boo and they will jump down your throat.

try paladin it would be worth a try.he may be able to help you good luck

As soon as we find out if he's coming home or going to jail on monday, I will. If he's going to jail I will call P anyways to get info but we won't be able to do anything until he comes back out. If he doesn't go to jail, he will be the first call I make.

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Be careful what you write cause you can say boo and they will jump down your throat.

at sixteen i beleve he can be put out. I know i can move out at sixteen. Frankly, i feel bad for him, he is just one of those kids who is going to be a Sh*t head for his teen years. he is the one suffering, this criminal record is going to haun him. Send him to me..ill lay a beating on him   But in al seriousness, i dont know what else i can say, i think he should be sent to a group home, you say he is bigger than you, then you need to find someone bigger than HIM! Personally, i would wait till he gets violent and kick the living crap out of him. Your not the only one..lots of kids i know are the exact same, and it makes them somehow popular...its sick really

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~~Cuz' Love is what matters;after all~~

If he doesn't go to jail, you cannot waste anytime in trying to ammend your situation..If I read correctly you have another son living with you who sees and hears everything....

oh yes he will probably mimic the boys behavior..or he may do the complete opposite seeing the results

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~~Cuz' Love is what matters;after all~~