An increasingly hostile consumer climate is making Canadians who serve your drinks, staff your flights and ring up your purchases feel like they've accepted an invitation to their own hanging just by showing up for work.
Across the country, employee stress and incidents of customer conflict are soaring, and physically and verbally abusive customers are making headlines. Labour shortages, a culture of instant gratification and the outmoded attitudes toward customer complaints are among the reasons behind this growing epidemic of consumer bullying, experts say.
"This is a microcosm of a larger problem in society," said Mark Julien, an assistant professor of business at Brock University in Ontario. "The norms around civility have declined in all facets of Canadian life."
A Calgary man was arrested recently after he was alleged to have flashed a firearm at a car dealership sales manager over a dispute about vehicle repairs.
This year, a businessman spent three nights in a Winnipeg jail and was ordered to pay more than $17,000 in fines and restitution after his alcohol-fuelled "air rage" - which included swearing at flight attendants, slapping a man in the face and threatening to kill his wife - forced an emergency landing.
According to Julien, who has researched conflict in the workplace, 60 per cent of retail employees have encountered "fairly significant incidents of incivility, bullying and belittling" on the job. He says a major cause is the belief - maintained by the public and service workers alike - that the customer is always right.
"It really traps the employee into thinking they don't have a recourse, that they have to put up with abuse," Julien says. He believes more explicit workplace conflict policies are necessary to protect everyone involved.
"You see it in hospitals - there are clear signs that say coarse language and aggressive behaviour will not be tolerated. I think if we could import that model into the retail environment and make crystal clear to everyone what the expectations are, it would go a long way."
A 2006 survey of 1,501 Canadians for Desjardins Securities found 14 per cent of employees consider dealing with the public or customers to be their primary source of stress.
These shell-shocked employees are emblematic of a growing national problem of stress and mental health issues in the workplace, which according to estimates by the Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Mental Health represent 40 per cent of long-term disability claims in Canada.
Aggression toward service workers is so pervasive that Transport Canada recently proposed new legal grounds that would allow airlines to refuse flight entry to passengers who displayed unruly or potentially dangerous behaviour.
One such air traveller made international headlines in September after her actions toward airline staff resulted in her arrest. Reports say the 45-year-old mother, who apparently became angry after being denied access to a flight for which she was late, accidentally choked herself to death while handcuffed in an Arizona airport.
"People are in a world of 'have it now,' " said Karen Seward, senior vice-president of business development for Shepell.fgi, a leading provider of employee assistance in Canada.
"It's all about control and demand, from the BlackBerrys to the cellphones - we constantly have at our fingertips what we need. In the service sector, that control is taken away from you a bit," she says
Seward, whose background is in psychology and sociology, says "systematically the biggest problem" is people not showing empathy or patience.
Shepell.fgi reports a 22-per-cent increase in conflict in the workplace over the last three years. In the hospitality industry, there's been a 15-per-cent rise in workers submitting employee assistance requests for help related to stress caused by customer conflict.
In the United States, employee assistance provider Com-Psych Corp. reports that crisis sessions in which counsellors travelled to stores to help stressed staff increased 34 per cent last year, following a 26-per-cent jump in 2005.
"When that last box of stuffing is gone, somehow it's the clerk's fault, even though you've known for a week you needed it for Thanksgiving dinner," Seward said. "Your lack of planning becomes somebody else's problem."
After 16 years in the service industry - four in retail, 12 in hospitality - Rob Nicholson says abusive customers finally drove him to quit.
"I've been called pretty much every name in the book, and occasionally customers physically assaulted me. I've had many punches thrown at me," said Nicholson, who now works as a computer technician in Ottawa for the federal government.
"But mostly, it was more of an attitude from people that I was beneath them. They'd do little things like snap their fingers at me or shoo me away with a flick of their hand, like, 'Go away, boy.' As part of your job, you almost have to take it with good humour."
But behind the professional smiles of the folks wishing you "a good day" are a few bitter Bettys who can't wait to go online to vent.
Retail-sucks.com is the Internet mecca for embattled service workers who want to share war stories. Some of the more vivid examples include a mother losing her cool in a store while seeking a non-existent video game and a young male shopper who asked to see a knife displayed behind the counter, then proceeded to threaten the clerk with it.
Other employee venting sites provide job-specific portals for disgruntled workers employed by hotels, restaurants, airlines and coffee shops. Dozens of employer-specific groups have taken up residence on Facebook.
Julie Marko, who left retail for her current position as a waitress at an upscale Edmonton restaurant, says aggressive customers have chewed her out over everything from ill-fitting clothes - one woman became enraged when the waistband of the store's pants was too big for her build - to the wait time for a table.
"If we tell them there's an hour wait and it ends up being an hour and a half, people are livid - yelling and swearing and just being really abusive," said Marko, a 19-year-old university student.
"Because people are in a position where they're paying for something, they think they should be waited on hand and foot, and that everything should be perfect and that there are machines running" the kitchen.
Dianne Johnstone, a spokesperson for the Retail Council of Canada, says a shortage of skilled workers is a significant factor in shoppers' discontent.
"There are just not enough bodies to go around," she said. "We're trying our best to meet the customer demands, yet customers are accustomed to a certain level (of service) and may get frustrated when they walk into a store ... and find it difficult to find someone to help them immediately."
According to Johnstone, Alberta - where the labour shortage is especially acute - has seen one of the most notable increases in customers behaving badly, based on reports by the Council's members.
Although employers can teach staff how to handle these hostile shoppers, the time and money available for such training has been drastically reduced over the years.
"As much as we do our best," Johnstone said, "sometimes things don't happen the way they should."