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Quotes by Joan Rivers

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

~ Joan Rivers


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

~ Joan Rivers


I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

~ Joan Rivers


If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

~ Joan Rivers


The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

~ Joan Rivers


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

~ Joan Rivers


I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

~ Joan Rivers


If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

~ Joan Rivers


The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

~ Joan Rivers


The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

~ Joan Rivers


Never floss with a stranger.

~ Joan Rivers


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

~ Joan Rivers


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

~ Joan Rivers


Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

~ Joan Rivers


If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

~ Joan Rivers


Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

~ Joan Rivers

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