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Quotes by Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~ Rita Rudner


Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

~ Rita Rudner


I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

~ Rita Rudner


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

~ Rita Rudner


Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

~ Rita Rudner


My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

~ Rita Rudner


I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~ Rita Rudner


Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

~ Rita Rudner


I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

~ Rita Rudner


My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

~ Rita Rudner


My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

~ Rita Rudner


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

~ Rita Rudner


I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

~ Rita Rudner


When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

~ Rita Rudner


When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

~ Rita Rudner


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

~ Rita Rudner


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

~ Rita Rudner


My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

~ Rita Rudner


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

~ Rita Rudner


My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

~ Rita Rudner


Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

~ Rita Rudner

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